


Of Daughters, Viceroys, Alcohol, and Doctors

by Pram_The_Oracle



Series: JohnRose Grimdorks Week 2018 [6]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alternate Universe - Elementary School, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Gen, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 14:23:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15245301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pram_The_Oracle/pseuds/Pram_The_Oracle
Summary: Wednesday: Cats and Salamanders Prompt.Alternate Universe, Blackrom/Pale John x Rose, SFW.For Bring Your Pet To School day, John decided to bring Casey, his pet salamander, to school. Now Casey is being petnapped by the creepy quiet girl in class, and it’s up to John to save the day!





	Of Daughters, Viceroys, Alcohol, and Doctors

“Casey! Come back to daddy!” You yell, wandering around the hallways.

You had such high hopes when you came to school today. You brought Casey, your pet Salamander, for today’s Bring Your Pet to School. You were so sure that you would have the most unique pet in class. But when you walked in the entire class was talking about Terezi bringing a Komodo Dragon to school. Which would be bad enough as it is, but right after the teacher called Aradia, she lost control over her ram (what is up with those pets?) and, well, long story short every single animal is on the loose now.

“Jade keep your devilbeast away from my crow!”

“SAVE CRABDAD! OH AND ERIDAN’S SEAHORSE, AND FEFERI’S OCTOPUS TOO I GUESS. ”

“Sollux’s bees! My god! Not in the eye!”

You managed to abandon the hub bub in the classroom pretty quickly, but you tripped and dropped the cage you brought Casey in. The yellow traitor ran off at the first sign of freedom. No more in between meal snack for Casey until she learns her lesson.

After going up and down and going what must have been a gazillion hallways, you finally found her! In the arms of a girl no less. As you get closer you realize it’s that quiet girl that sits in the back of the class. She kind of creeps you out to be honest. You hope she doesn’t have cooties. What was her name… ugh you forget.

“Alright Casey, free time’s over now. Time to come back to daddy. Thanks for looking after him.” You say opening the cage.

The girl looked at you, then at Casey. She smiled that creepy smile of hers “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about. This isn’t your salamander Casey, it’s mine.”

“Nuh-uh, that’s Casey!” Why is she lying? “Don’t steal someone else’s pet!”

“I’ll thank you not to accuse me of any wrong-doing, especially since I’m innocent. Isn’t that right, Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer.” She cooed, rubbing her cheeks against poor confused Casey- wait, she’s making her happy noises.

“Come on, give it back!”

“Do you have proof that this is your pet?”

“Uhh…” proof? You’re not sure how to prove it. “I have her cage right here.”

“That does not prove that you own this particular salamander, it just proves you have something to hold things like Salamanders and such.” She narrowed her eyes. “How do I know that you’re not a petnapper, bothering innocent children and snatching them away while you try to confuse them with your lies?”

Your head hurts hearing the girl talk. “But you don’t even have anywhere to keep Casey in!” That seemed to stump her, as she looked up and slightly to the side. You guess she’s thinking? Then she smiled. You hate that smile.

“Why, I have her cage right here!” She pointed down next to her. There is indeed a cage, but…

“That’s not a salamander’s cage, that’s for a dog or a cat. In fact,” you crouch down, peering inside, “I can see a cat inside right now!”

“For your information,” she she said as she opened the cage, unleashing the creature, “this is Vodka Mutini, Viceroy’s lifelong boon companion.” Oh Vodka’s actually kind of cute. She then moved the hand holding Casey and OH NO SHE’S GOING TO FEED-

Oh. It’s just licking Casey. That’s… good you guess. But it’s time to get serious.

“Put. The Salamander. Back. In the cage.” You hissed, glaring at her.

“Very well, if you insist” She then proceeded to put Casey in a cage. Hers. Why couldn’t she just put the Salamander back in your cage? You’re starting to get angry here, but Dad taught you to ever hit girls. What can you do? You look at her smug face. You look at Casey inside what is clearly a cat’s cage. You look at the cat. 

Wait, something just occurred to you. It’s a long shot, but your dad said a father does everything for their children.

“Come here Dr. Meowgon Spengler!” You call out to the cat.

“What.” She said.

You ignore her and continued to call out to the cat. “Come here Doctor! I’ve got tasty treats for you” that seemed to do the trick, as the cat moved towards you.

“Vodka Mutini you treasonous feline, come back here !” The girl hissed, motioning towards her. Vodka Spengler just looked at the two of you, before just sitting her butt down right in the middle between you.

You and the girl share a quick stare down before you really get into it.

“Come here Meowgon! Who’s a good kitty? Come to daddy!”

“Mutini return to mommy! You’ll get a free therapy session if you do! I’ll brush your fur once we get home!”

You both continue calling out to the cat as it pointedly ignores the both of you, grooming herself. Finally, it stopped grooming and looked at the girl.

“Yes! That’s it Vodka Mutini, return to-“

Then Dr. Meowgon Spengler turned around and walked into your welcoming arms. You cradle the cat in your arms triumphantly, grinning at the girl. Geez this cat is kinda heavy!

“Hah! Looks like I’ve got a new pet! In your face!” You start dancing around in place as the cat mewed happily.

“Mutini...?” She said, in a quiet voice that you almost didn’t hear it. You stopped dancing and looked at her. She’s shaking. She looks like she’s been kicked in the knee. You think she’s sniffing- oh geez are those tears in her eyes?

You can’t do it. You can’t take her pet away from her. Your Dad said not to make girls cry, and if you ever did, make it up to them as quickly as you can. Besides, Vodka Mutini smells kind of weird, and your arms are getting tired.

“Alright alright, you can have Vodka Mutini back.” You say, walking over to the girl and setting the cat down near her. The stupid thing adorably brushes itself against your feet, which is so cute but not what you want it to do. You shoo it away, which after a frustrating few seconds in which it just licked its paws and brushed its face, it finally returned to the girl’s side, brushing itself against her legs. “Sorry for uh, trying to steal your cat away from you.” You lamely say.

As for the girl, she just kept looking back and forth between you and the cat, before finally crouching down to pet Mutini. “I… don’t understand why you would just give her back to me.”

“Well, you know, it doesn’t feel right taking things away from other people.” You mutter. You just stood there, awkwardly. You’re not sure what to do next. You guess you’ll have to tell Dad that Casey found a new home. Just as you turn away to walk back to class though, you feel a tug. You turn around to see the girl, looking down on the ground, holding the back of your shirt and offering you back Casey.

You gently take Casey back, who stopped making happy noises once you took her back. Traitor. You put her back in her cage before facing the girl. “Thanks for returning Casey.” Why are you thanking a petnapper? Oh well, it never hurts to be polite.

“I’m sorry.” She blurted our, lifting her head but not looking in your direction, rubbing her arm. “I’m not trying to excuse my behavior, but I was under some duress when I came upon your pet salamander. You see, my I was angry at my Mom earlier today, and I unfairly took it out on you.” She finally looked at you square in the eye - oh wow they’re really purple- and bowed a bit. “I’m sorry.”

You smile back. “It’s no big deal, we both have our pets back, so no harm done.” You gently pat her in the shoulder. You’re not really sure what to do next to be honest. Should you ask if she wants to get back to class?

“Rose.” She suddenly said.

“Huh?” You’re not sure why she said a flower’s name. There aren’t any roses hee.

 

“Rose Lalonde.” She said, extending her hand with a small smile. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

When you finally realized what she meant, you smile back widely and shake her hand. “John Egbert. Nice to finally talk to you Rose.”

With your pets in their rightful place, you walk back to your class together, chatting as you go. You might not have the most unique pet, but you made a new friend and you’ve still got Casey. All in all, today’s been pretty great, and it’s not even noon yet.

**Author's Note:**

> And then they grow older and get married and have babies and get the real Doctor Meowgon Spengler and Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer.
> 
> Or stay best friends as they marry other people. You decide.


End file.
